AskMen.com: How to get your girlfriend to abort

What a helpful article!

Update: seems like they were shamed into removing it

Update 2: once online, always online

An unplanned and unwanted pregnancy can dramatically affect an otherwise loving long-term relationship. Some men rejoice, but others simply aren’t ready to be fathers. If they discussed the possibility and specifics at the start of the relationship, he may hope she’s going to stick to the original plan and terminate the pregnancy. And she might — but for some women, getting pregnant can start clocks ticking and make them suddenly want to be mothers, despite previous agreements.
[…]
Tell her what you think
When you’re ready to share your opinion, you’ll want to use a calm, steady tone. You’ll also want to take care with your word choice; pregnant women tend to feel like they’re carrying someone, as opposed to something, even if she is just a month or so pregnant. You can’t just talk about having an abortion the same way you’d talk about having a cavity filled. Sensitivity is key. Toss words like “it” around too many times, and she’s going to start feeling like she needs to defend “it” from you. If you want her to really listen to you, paraphrase her own word usage.
[…]
Stand by your decision
If you’ve followed all of these steps and your woman decides to have the baby anyway, this does not mean you’re required to get married or move in together. You’ll probably want to provide for your child regardless, but if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute beyond what your conscience and the law expects of you. This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers.

Wow. Just… wow.

Jill Stanek offers commentary:

The third person in the relationship is brushed aside as a mere “issue of an unwanted pregnancy” which encourages men to treat the situation as if it is only themselves and their partner that need consideration: “Will you have to sell your Harley and get a station wagon?” asks the author.

Oh, what a terrible thought! Yes, clearly ending the life of your unborn child is more preferable!
[…]
The only redeeming factor to the article is it suggests if mothers insist on allowing their preborn children to live, men should feel free to change their minds and embrace their future roles as fathers.

Well, good thing we have abortion so that we can support a woman when a guy knocks her up but would prefer to keep his Harley.

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43 comments on “AskMen.com: How to get your girlfriend to abort
  1. toni says:

    there is no life until 6 weeks, when the embryo begins to show any kind of brain activity, and the heart starts beating. so, it can only be a purely a psychological issue women have with abortion, prior to this time.

    if she’s so selfish to ruin a guy’s life, especially if he worked so hard to get where he is that, over something no more alive than a sesame seed, then there is only one way to knock some sense into her…

    swift kick to the stomach. worked for me. just make sure you don’t miss. WELL worth the jail time… do not get trapped.

    • I really hope you’re not serious. That’s despicable.

      I don’t even know where to begin… why would you be having sex with someone you’re willing to physically assault?

      And “no more alive than a sesame seed?” If it’s really no more alive than a sesame seed… why the big deal? Honestly, read a biology textbook — life begins at conception.

      • pool says:

        shut up and swallow. know your place weakling. maybe he likes having sex with her cos she a dirty slut, who deserves to be punished unill she bleeds.

      • Bernard says:

        If a man has no choice when it comes to whether or not he is to be a father, then there should be a law where he can sign away any obligation to being in any way responsible to the child.. most women keep it, because they know the man is legally responsible financially no matter what. To make the decision fair, if you want to keep the kid but I don’t, you have to be responsible for it solely!!

    • Carmen says:

      How about a swift kick to your NUTS.

    • Backdoorbetty says:

      Omg why the fuck should you men be here? If life is so cheap kill yourselves and pray for forgiveness for taking up your own space when I’m sure with your hate, disdain and sick souls many wish you were aborted…
      He’ll get rid of you so you can’t pass on your shitty DNA.
      Don’t wanna fucking baby that you aren’t good enough to have because no educated man thinks this way, USE A CONDOM YOU FUCKING IGNORANT APES.

      • Bernard says:

        If a man has no choice when it comes to whether or not he is to be a father, then there should be a law where he can sign away any obligation to being in any way responsible to the child.. most women keep it, because they know the man is legally responsible financially no matter what. To make the decision fair, if you want to keep the kid but I don’t, you have to be responsible for it solely!!

  2. Teofila says:

    I agree with Blaise-
    This is the oddity of our humanist-enlightened-ethics: “sensitivity is key”
    but to hell with the pregnant woman! Don’t marry her or support her! The law doesn’t require it.

    I also find it extremely odd how “male feminists” are huge proponents of abortion to empower and liberate women, when they are also the ones most often abusing women through causual sex relationships.

    • george says:

      Why would you marry someone just because she having a kid you told her you didnt want from the start? The man should have 50 percent of the choice. If he doesnt want the kidd there should be no kid. But its in the gold digging mothers body and she wants it for the paycheck. Why dont you wake up to the real world and start seeing abortion is a good thing maybe then there wouldnt be so much strain on social security and welfare cuz of all these single moms who had kids and get on welfare and food stamps when the father didnt even want the fucking kid

      • Backdoorbetty says:

        Wtf??? Women are more educated then you lazy ass men now, they look better, make more money and take care of THEIR OWN KIDS, you guys are worthless and you will die alone.
        Wrap it up and don’t pass on your genes….why should a kid suffer when your $10 an hour job would add up to $50 child support anyway.
        Only financially stable, attractive men will have it all…
        Stop hating because you ain’t got shit a bitch could ever want not even if she got paid your diaper money lmfao

  3. Tiffanie says:

    I have to say one thing. You self righteous, asshole, animals of men…if you don’t want an unplanned pregnancy, it’s YOUR responsibility to wrap it up & be RESPONSIBLE. If you don’t want the reprecussions, then don’t do the act, assholes.

    • ummm…no it’s not. it’s a joint responsibility. a woman should either be on the pill, or remind a guy to use a condom before they do it – & have one on her.
      it’s absolutely 50/50.

      • Father says:

        She was on the depo shot, and swore that if she ever got pregnant that she would have an abortion because she knew that neither of us were ready for parenting.

        Maybe if more people realized that there is more to parenting than being financially able to support the child then they would realize that it takes A LOT to admit that you aren’t ready to care for a child.

        If the woman wants to go and have a baby, she should be allowed to. But why does that have to mean that I have to live in the gutter to support a decision that I don’t agree with?

  4. ypyinfoofficer says:

    Toni, if I went into a coma tomorrow and stopped showing brain activity, would I all of a sudden not be alive anymore? I don’t think so.

  5. Neil says:

    I have managed to get a girl visiting England from Eastern Europe pregnant!!! Im desperate for her to abort, please how can i convince her to abort?

    • Neil, I can’t imagine how distraught you must be right now… but consider what it is you’re asking. Do you really want to try to convince her to kill her child? Your child? The circumstances sound far from ideal… but you need to try and find a way to support her, and the child you’ve created together — even if you didn’t intend to be in this situation. Please, reconsider trying to convince her to do something you may both regret — to end the life of your child — out of desperation.

      Do you know this girl well?

  6. Lucy says:

    Blaise are you slow? Clearly Nell and Toni are f-ing with you, and do you know why? Because this entire site, and your entire outlook is so backwards people living in free society feel no need to actually debate with you. Life does not begin at conception, you open a biology textbook. Pro-lifers=fucking morons.

    • I sincerely hope so. Though, lack I checked, jokes about violence against women weren’t funny.

      “swift kick to the stomach. worked for me. just make sure you don’t miss. WELL worth the jail time… do not get trapped.”

      Yep, there’s a defender of women’s rights. Hilarious.

      As for Neil, I have no idea if that was a real comment, but it is from a UK IP address, and men do often feel trapped and desperate in situations like that. I’d rather look like an idiot assuming it’s real than the opposite.

      “Because this entire site, and your entire outlook is so backwards people living in free society feel no need to actually debate with you”

      Then why did you comment?

      The meta-debate tactic is a tiresome and uniquely Canadian pro-choice approach. I’m happy to wait and see how long it holds up. The majority of Canadians do not support a total legal void of restrictions right up until the point of birth. The debate has hardly begun in Canada.

      Since I’m so stupid and you’re so enlightened, can you help me out? When does life begin?

      • george says:

        blaise alleyne, to consider when life begins means to consider when a human being actually becomes a person. What makes a person? experiences make a person. A fetus is no more a person than a fish, chicken, or a cow, even less perhaps in terms of brain capability. So why is it ok to kill a fish cow or chicken but having an abortion is a god aweful sin? It’s really more human to have an abortion than to put your cat to sleep. After all the cat has experiences and memories, A fetus has nothing, doesn’t even know it exists. So the question is not when life begins, but when does a fetus become a person. The answer in my opinion is after birth.

        • So, what happens after birth that turns a cat into a person? Why don’t we put cows in cribs and newborn babies in barn? An old cow is functionality impressive and has more experiences and memories than a newborn human being.

          What changes at birth? It’s certainly not brain capabilities — your brain isn’t affected much by passing a few inches down the birth canal. And, your brain doesn’t stop developing at birth.

          How developed your brain is doesn’t tell us whether you’re a person. That only tells us how old a person is.

    • I hope that you heal from whatever encounter you’ve had with abortion in your life.

  7. brian says:

    I’m currently going out with a Japanese foreign student and even though we’ve always used condoms she just told me she is pregnant, I can’t possibly raise a child as an undergraduate…. and this will make it impossible for me to get my degree in medicine that I’m striving for soooooo hard. I really like her, but she’s going back to japan and that means if she had it, she’d be taking my kid with her.

    I can barely pay my 200 rent, that plus child care isn’t possible. Not only that, but my parents are doing well so they can’t help me. I’m going to have the conversation with her tonight… but the thing is, i feel like I may not even be able to afford an abortion.

  8. remember boys: rap your bait before you mate.
    & you’re lucky: a woman deals way more heavily with the consequences of pregnancy than you do. e.g. ruined figure, sex life destroyed, social life almost non-existant, career/education down the drain, financial issues, not to mention the pain of pregnancy & childbirth & possibly post-natal depression…& you’ve gotta pay child support.
    cummon, grow some balls. & pay up, or keep it in your pants.

  9. JK says:

    I think a person is responsible for their actions. If you want to have sex without protection. You should be looking for a long relationship with that person. If you have a kid, you will know that person for the rest of your life!

  10. aka says:

    hi, wanted to ask you guys, since i had a similair problem, can you be in long term relationship, and love someone be over 40 and still want this person to make an abortion? or is it rather a sign, that you don’t want to be for longer with a person?

  11. see, this is one of those issues where women have more rights than men…
    personally i feel that a man should never tell a woman whether he wants her to have an abortion or not – what he SHOULD be able to do, however, is shirk any responsibility for the child (aka not have to pain child support) & not have any part in the child’s life.
    to me, aborting a foetus is a woman’s way of shirking responsibility, so it seems only fair that a man should also get that option.
    if a woman falls pregnant & wants to keep the baby while the man doesn’t, she has to be able to do it by herself – it’s unfair to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do, while you have a choice.

    • lgdphil@gmail.com says:

      What if a female lied to you about about being on birth control (after a year you thought you knew her) and tricked you into getting her pregnant. What do you do? How do you get her to abort the child? I’m pretty much screwed. Were both college educated and successful in our careers. The only conlusion I can make is that she’s crazy or evil/malicious to entrap someone like this…. I know I shouldn’t have trust her duh figured that out, time for that conversation is over, useless advice, what to do now?

      • Awesome Situation! says:

        This is the ultimate hypothetical situation, I want to see what the abortion guru’s think of this! 😉

        What if a female lied to you about about being on birth control (after a year you thought you knew her) and tricked you into getting her pregnant. What do you do? How do you get her to abort the child? I’m pretty much screwed. Were both college educated and successful in our careers. The only conlusion I can make is that she’s crazy or evil/malicious to entrap someone like this…. I know I shouldn’t have trust her duh figured that out, time for that conversation is over, useless advice, what to do now?

    • Ann says:

      Killing an unborn baby should not be a choice. Your choice is made when you have sex with your partner.

  12. Sadie says:

    I have been through abortion but because i didn’t want HIS kid. We were careful, but something obviously went wrong. He was and to my knowledge is still violent, he is a thief, a liar and just an all round disgusting excuse for a man. So i dealt with it in the best way i could, even if it was the hardest and most painful thing i have ever experienced. He wasn’t happy but id rather have a man like that out of my life than in it abusing what would have been our child. (it is a proven fact that 8 out of 10 men who didn’t want to be fathers to their children, are physically and in some cases sexually abusive to their children)
    I went on to have a beautiful daughter and am now pregnant again. My daughters dad has turned out to be just like my first pregnancies dad, so i have booted him out of our lives. He wants this baby, but if i intend to make a new life for me and my daughter some where far away from him, then i cant have this child. Yet another heart breaking decision.
    It should be a 50/50 responsibility, but i got pregnant this time because he said he had put the condom on when he hadn’t. I have spoken to a colleague at the law firm i work in and they are more than welcome to take on my case, in the eyes of the law, if he got you pregnant due to lying about using protection, it is classed as GBH ( Grievous Bodily Harm ) Exactly what you can get any man or woman done for if they pass on an STI or STD.
    So to all you men who think its acceptable behavior to abuse a woman you failed, then maybe you should be sterilized if you are so against being a father.

    • Ann says:

      Please either have this child or give this child up for adoption. There is never a reason to put another human being to death. I am truly sorry you have been in these circumstances, but please be the better person and allow your child to live. Otherwise your behavior is no better than that of these men. Please see http://www.priestsforlife.org/images/index.aspx/

  13. Sadie says:

    Or take some advice from my brother who got a girl pregnant when he was 15 and wanted her to abort.
    He spoke to her clearly and understandingly. He told her he knows it is a hard decision for a woman to make (the excruciating pain of literally having something ripped from the lining of the uterus and injections to the cervix, the bleeding afterwards with high hemorrhage risks, the high risk factor of her being permanently infertile ect) he told her that whatever she decided to do, be it keep or abort, there was going to be guidelines. If she agreed to abort, he would be there to support her emotionally, if she chose to keep the baby, then he wanted nothing to do with it. He said inform me when he or she is born and he would send money at either Christmas or on its birthday. He wanted nothing to do with the child apart from the odd £100 a year. She chose to have the baby, my brother pays £50 on its birthday and £50 at Christmas and will continue till the child reaches 18. He also requested that under no circumstances did he want his name on the birth certificate, that way he has no legal obligation to that child. He is now married with three children.

  14. Dave says:

    I am screwed. I had sex with a girl I I barely know and she was the one pushing for unprotected sex! She assured me that she was on the pill but then she “forgot” to take her pill the next day after we had sex so now she’s pregnant. It’s only a couple weeks into the pregnancy but she seems hell bent on keeping it. This girl is psychotic. I am a broke college student in my very early twenties. I am not fit to be a father either emotionally or financially. I hang out with this girl 3 times… I feel absolutely powerless in this situation because it is “her” choice. I told her that I am not ready to be a father and in as nice of terms as I possibly could told her that I want her to get an abortion. It seems like the second I told her I didn’t want her to keep it was when she decided she wanted to keep it. While she was telling me she had a huge smile on her face. I could tell she thoroughly enjoyed having the power over me to make me squirm. I am fucked. She is using this to have emotional control over me. My life is ruined. How can I convince this psycho to do the right thing??

4 Pings/Trackbacks for "AskMen.com: How to get your girlfriend to abort"
  1. […] exactly the advice that AskMen.com had to give in the conclusion of their article instructing men how to get a girlfriend to abort (emphasis mine): If you’ve followed all of these steps and your woman decides to have the […]

  2. […] can get rid of the little bugger before birth. Respect women? I don’t know if abortion really shows respect for women. But this, all at once, seems impossible to teach a six year old. At what age does one […]

  3. […] How to get your girlfriend to abort July 10, 2009 Blaise Alleyne Leave a comment Go to comments […]

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