What a helpful article!
An unplanned and unwanted pregnancy can dramatically affect an otherwise loving long-term relationship. Some men rejoice, but others simply aren’t ready to be fathers. If they discussed the possibility and specifics at the start of the relationship, he may hope she’s going to stick to the original plan and terminate the pregnancy. And she might — but for some women, getting pregnant can start clocks ticking and make them suddenly want to be mothers, despite previous agreements.
Tell her what you think
When you’re ready to share your opinion, you’ll want to use a calm, steady tone. You’ll also want to take care with your word choice; pregnant women tend to feel like they’re carrying someone, as opposed to something, even if she is just a month or so pregnant. You can’t just talk about having an abortion the same way you’d talk about having a cavity filled. Sensitivity is key. Toss words like “it” around too many times, and she’s going to start feeling like she needs to defend “it” from you. If you want her to really listen to you, paraphrase her own word usage.
Stand by your decision
If you’ve followed all of these steps and your woman decides to have the baby anyway, this does not mean you’re required to get married or move in together. You’ll probably want to provide for your child regardless, but if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute beyond what your conscience and the law expects of you. This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers.
Wow. Just… wow.
Jill Stanek offers commentary:
The third person in the relationship is brushed aside as a mere “issue of an unwanted pregnancy” which encourages men to treat the situation as if it is only themselves and their partner that need consideration: “Will you have to sell your Harley and get a station wagon?” asks the author.
Oh, what a terrible thought! Yes, clearly ending the life of your unborn child is more preferable!
The only redeeming factor to the article is it suggests if mothers insist on allowing their preborn children to live, men should feel free to change their minds and embrace their future roles as fathers.
Well, good thing we have abortion so that we can support a woman when a guy knocks her up but would prefer to keep his Harley.